Every single time I log onto social media, I am bombarded with sex memes. They’re usually about 50 shades of gray role play, getting choked during sex, or eating booty. I am all for being a sexually empowered adult but some of these folks are just doing it so they don’t come off as a prude. Chances are they aren’t prudes. They just haven’t found their inner freak. So let’s find it.
1. Get To Know Your Body
First off, you don’t need to have had a whole slew of partners to be a freak. You can be one of those people who has only been with one partner and be freakier than the woman who has had fifteen. You could have had sixty partners and still not be comfortable with your own body and sexuality. The key to finding your freak is being comfortable in your own skin and open to exploring your own body. Learn about your body and love it. You only get one.
2. Invest In Your Sexy
Look into getting some lingerie. It doesn’t have to break the bank. It does need to fit properly though. Nothing is worse than too tight underwear. Sex toys are great too. They have adult toys for every taste. If you have any kind of kink or fetish, there is probably a toy for that. You don’t have to buy the most expensive toy. I do recommend doing research and reading reviews. My current vibrator cost me twenty dollars on Amazon and it is amazing! The point is to learn what you like. Learn what makes you feel sexy. Stay within your means and get comfortable with yourself before you open up to experimenting with a partner.
3. Communicate With Each Other
When you do start to experiment with a partner, you need to set ground rules. Come up with a safe word. Communicate your wants and needs. Communicate your turn ons as well as communicating your turn offs. If you don’t like something, say so. If you don’t want to do something, say so. Be vocal. Be clear about what you will and won’t do with your body and be clear about what you will and won’t allow to be done to your body. Be safe by using condoms and a form of birth control. Sexually transmitted diseases do exist and you can’t be too careful these days. A baby is not the only way unprotected sex can change your life. You can catch an STD or STI even if you didn’t have intercourse. Diseases can be transmitted through oral and anal sex also.
4. Have Fun
Lastly, get some lube. Water based lube is the best choice because it doesn’t weaken condoms, it’s toy safe, and it’s easy to wash off. They even come in flavored varieties. Have fun. Experiment. Loosen up and get your freak on.
Comment Below!!
What are some ways you use to find your inner freak?
I’m Joitroshia “Joi” Dupas. I live in Louisiana. I have two beautiful little people that I created myself and I love them very much. I wanted to be a part of the Sex & Relationship column because it is time that we as black women got all the way real about the highs, lows, misinformation, and everything else involved in being sexually active and dating while being a black woman in today’s society. If we can’t be honest with ourselves, who can we be honest with?
Hmmmm. Verrrrry Interesting